Being Single

Being Single could be a scary thing for some people, i admit it was scary for me especially I've just got out from a 3.5 years long relationship last July. Well I experienced my worst fear of being single, that is being alone because I'm used to with the very presence of her in my life and  i was not very good at being alone without taking care of someone, well that's my case though i don't know about others.

Anuptophobia is a fear of being single, well who doesn't anyway? But here's a thought, so you are afraid of being single thus you decided to hop on to the next relationship train you can get within short time after you broke up with your former significant other, case solved. Well it doesn't solve a thing according to my opinion it just creates more problem, why ?

Here's why :

1. You are still used to be with the presence of your former significant other

2. Isn't it just the same like being in a rebound relationship ? (Note: Nobody likes to be the rebound guy/girl !)

3. Love is blind but don't be a love fool (Note: That sensation you feel when you hop on to the next relationship train is just pure illusion)

4. Stop wasting other people's time, why ? Because you will just make hurt your rebound boy/girl friend because they might expect something out of you and that is cruel.

So ladies and gentlemen, it is advisable after you broke up with your former significant other to stay single for a certain period of time depends on how long your previous relationship, how good is your mental condition and most importantly is being patient and not to rush yourself to another relationship that soon.

Here's are some cool things about being single :

1. You can appreciate your independence

2. You can control your finances

3. You have more time for social activities

4. You can be spontaneous

5. You can flirt without worry

Many more cool things about being single, but those five things i mentioned are what's best about being single for me. If you want to find love, then don't hop on to the next relationship train you got after you've just ended your long relationship. Do not be afraid of being single!!! Explore your options, be spontaneous, be awesome single person, be adventurous, after all being single doesn't mean it's the end of your life it is the other way around it is the beginning of your brand new life.

My Own November Rain

Great it's been three weeks now i haven't seen the sun shine, it is always raining for the past three weeks and to top it all of it's going to get worst, according to the weather report it will be raining the whole November which reminds me of guns n roses song 'November Rain'.

November Rain lyric by Guns n Roses:

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain


Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one 

It's been gloomy for the past three weeks and it affects my mood, sometimes i could feel so mellow because of the heavy rain and stuck in the traffic while listening to songs in my iPod which i set to shuffle but it magically plays some mellow romantic songs, or songs that have something to do with rains, broken heart, songs that makes me emo and all of those that could stir my mood like crazy when i listen to those songs while raining.

Not to mention lately my friends had some emotional  tragedy happened to them, it involves a death in family member, broken heart and insecurities. October was a pretty rough month for me and my friends, but my gut said it will be over soon and we could see our shining sun again both metaphorically and literally.

It's November already, it will be December soon which means it will be Christmas and new year soon, i vowed to myself that I would end this year with a bang. "Starts with a bang and it ends with a bang." So buckle up my friends, it will be tough this month but I'm sure we could get past the hurdle for us, be strong.

Insomniac

Well it's 4:33 AM here in Sunway, i still couldn't sleep at all probably because i fell asleep earlier and had a really powerful nap sometimes around 10 PM. Funny thing about living here in Sunway is, every night i could hear weird noises such as blazing sounds of illegal street racing, ambulance, police, fire fighters, some weird neighbor who played his/her guitar at midnight. It was always really loud and sometimes it pissed me off!!

Though I have been here in Malaysia for almost five years now, I'm still wondering what the heck is wrong with its people who are constantly insomniac, i saw many people hang out after midnight at 'mamak'  short for Malaysia Makan if I'm not mistaken (some sort of restaurant that open 24 hours), some would bring their children along with them as well geez what kind of parenting is this? Taking your children to hang out with you after midnight, even funnier they do hang out after midnight even during the weekdays aren't your children supposed to go to school, and aren't you suppose to go to work?

For the people about my age i wouldn't even bother trying to figure out what kind of reasons brought them to hang out at 'mamak', more or less their reason would be the same as me :

1. Got nothing else to do
2. Hang out with friends
3. Insomniac and hungry
4. Any other reasons you could come up with to hang out after midnight

Well it is still a mystery to me why these people hangs out really late at night, or they are just really that bored at home just like me thus opting to go out after midnight to either have a 'teh tarik' late supper or watching football match at 'mamak', oh by the way most of the 'mamak' i visited they do install LCD TVs at their places so people would come over there and watch football while eating or eating while watching football.

Oh well i guess I'll just enjoy my insomnia now, and I'm going to 'mamak' to have a glass of ice tea. or supper or breakfast, Good night..errr i mean Good morning or whatever blah...

Coincidence pt.2

Well jumping to few months later after i first met with 'S', now it is November already so that is precisely 5 months I've known her and surprisingly she knew me much more than anyone else who have known me before a truly standing ovation for her, i never was a simple man to be read by anybody else I'm not one of those top 40 songs, i am more of a vintage song that require multiple listening to truly know who i really am.

Our friendship started awfully, because of many things well mainly it is because i just do not know how to give up on her even though she has her significant other but it is a long distance thing. My ego seems to be too abrasive for her and my mental block did drives her insane, she became restless and uneasy every time she is near me. Until both of us reach to a point where we could finally trust each other and no longer suspicious of one another, we became friends.

She taught me many things, she taught me how to use my heart again after i neglected my heart for years, she taught me how to be compassionate with others, most importantly she reminded me how to be sincere. It is true that I haven't been sincere with my actions, i used to expect something in return after i did something. After five months of mind torture we finally could be friends with each other, or at least that's what I'm thinking.

I've moved on, i met someone new in my life but still i did not expect anything to happen from this new girl I've just met, playing it really safe for my sake. Though lately something happened, 'S' went through the toughest time in her life and to be honest i feel sorry for her, as a friend all i could give are my understandings and moral support for her, be there for her when she needs help, console her in anyway that i could for her. Oh one more thing about 'S' she was there during my lowest moment, she told me that i am good enough and no need to wallow myself further in pity. I owed her that much thus i have to repay her kindness to me, not only she did gave me second chance, she gave countless of second chances to better myself as a person, hopefully i could enlighten her like the way she enlightened me. Amen to that!

Coincidence

Have you ever wondered and asked yourself, will you ever met someone who could leave such a deep impression and you encounter this someone coincidentally and leave you to wonder about this person even more?

I have met this someone who leaves such a great impression on me, in fact it was too great. The worst part is it triggered my sense of curiosity trying to dig deep even more about this person who so suddenly appeared in my life. I used to don't believe in coincidence, i believed that every actions happened to us are because of our choosing, but not this time.

It happened during summer this year, i was on my way meeting my friend from university, she told me that she wanted to bring her friend from Jakarta to tag along with our little happy shopping trip. Let's call my friend 'A' and her friend 'S'. I was quite surprised when i met 'S', there is something that i could not figure out the first time i met her.

I began to have conversations with her, we shared quite common backgrounds and it turned out she knew numerous friends from my days in junior high school. She looks mature, adventurous, daring and confident about herself. Her trip to KL was supposed to be a short trip, but i persuaded her to extend her trip duration so i could show her around town. It was one week in my life that i could never forget, i could only describe it in one word "Scintillating".

What surprised me about her is,;she really knows who i really am in such a short amount of time I've spent with her, she could see the inside of my core as if before her trip to KL she was given a full dossier about my personality, it was creeping me out at first but i genuinely know that she really is good at reading people's personality and made me so defenseless. I've met many kind of girls in my life, but i have not find someone who has unique personality such as her.

Could she be the one? Or am i just imagining? I couldn't care more about it, I'll just have to see how will it go. Hopefully it will turn out to be something good, but i do not want to put much hope.